I don't see a problem here. I don't recommend we give our children a smartphone and allow them unlimited usage, but if a bunch of adults are standing around looking at their phone while waiting on take-out, who cares? Did everyone sit around in in-depth discussions with strangers before? I remember people would sit and read the newspaper or a book or stare into space while waiting.
3-4 times to get someone's attention for every person, or did it happen once? Could have easily happened if they were reading their Arthur C. Clarke novels as well.
When I started college in 2008 I remember almost always being able to talk a cute girl or at least another person on the bus.
When I finished in 2013 (switched majors and studied in France so 5 years it was) that happened incredibly rarely. It's hard to talk to someone when they have head phones in or are buried in some sort of game and almost every single person had their headphones in.
Even a book I can casually ask what some one is reading when they look up.
No smart phone for me thank you kindly. Even when I hang out with friends I occasionally experience moments where everyone but me is just staring at their phones. Then I wonder why I'm hanging out there. It's weird.
Ever think that they do this so they don't have to talk to you? While on bus or waiting, I've used the book/phone/etc as an excuse to ignore someone that I KNEW was waiting for conversation with ANYONE. My mindset- "I don't know you, I don't care what your selling, I don't care if you think I'm pretty- your not getting a date, I'm not here to entertain you"
I got at least a few dates and made a few friends on the bus for sure. I never bothered people who were obviously doing something. By the end it was impossible to find people who were just riding the bus was the point of the post as opposed to doing something.
Is that the world we should strive to live in where no one can make connections randomly and without prior introduction?
If you're not busy, and I'm not busy, what's the big deal with talking to someone?
And not only that but is everyones 9,000th run of temple run worth a society of people who have no ability to communicate outside of pre setup social scenarios?
Why wouldn't you? They're people. They generally have decades of experiences you've never had. They're extremely faceted and interesting. If someone doesn't want to talk to you you accept that and move on but most people are extremely interesting and can teach you something. How can you ignore some of the most valuable sources of interesting information in the world?
Maybe they don't want to talk to me. I accept that and move on.
It's called taking an extremely small risk for the chance that you can gain a friend or even just have an interesting conversation you'd never have had. Everyone's worth listening to.
The really funny part about your question to me is that you're talking to a stranger over the internet but you're having trouble understanding why you'd want to talk to a person in real life.
How do you know they have interesting information for you? While you take the loss of them not wanting to talk, do you think the rudeness/inconsideration of talking to them uninvited? Yeah asking for directions is one thing but interrupting their life for a stranger?
Note: from the point of view of someone that has social anxiety and avoids social activities, phone calls and verbal interaction as much as possible.
I wasn't interrupting their lives. If someone was alone on the bus not doing anything, or alone in the Tim Horton's line not doing anything, I'd say "hello". If they responded we'd start talking. If they were clearly not interested in talking to me then we wouldn't talk.
Most people truly enjoy talking to people. Most people have anxiety about meeting new people and remembering names and talking to people on the phone. But once they've gotten past the "hello" most people absolutely love to talk. I generally ask questions more than talk myself because I already know how I think and would like to hear other's perspectives.
And how could someone who has lived for decades not have something interesting to say?
It's not only about interesting information though, it's about developing social skills and the ability to interact with others in situations that aren't pre set up. It's about meeting new people. It's about understanding that every person is interesting. It's about realizing no one in the damn Tim Horton's line is doing anything better than making a new friend or having a conversation with someone they've never met whose views might open up a new way of thinking for them. It's about meeting people from other cultures and countries with different customs and life styles. It's about meeting the girl that could be the love of your life one day. In the end it's about living and interacting with the single most interesting thing around you at any given point. Other people. Far more multi-dimensional than any piece of artwork or app on a phone could ever be are the people around you.
You seem to think I was a huge bother to these people but one girl's first kiss ever was me because I said "hello" to her in the Tim Horton's line. She truly enjoyed the experience and while we didn't go much further than that that's a memory neither of us will ever forget. Would it have been better for me to be doing a fantasy draft with the espn app on my phone? Not a chance.
Were there times people didn't want to talk to me? Totally. But the majority of people are very friendly and open to talking to people if you say "hello". You can't be a creep with some pick up line. You have to genuinely be interested in learning more about the person. Then you tend to learn a lot and make new connections.
And again it wasn't something I did every bus ride. But it's nice to have the option every now and again to get a little jittery and say "hello" to someone you don't know. No one has no social anxiety, or at least I don't have zero social anxiety.
Hey as long as you're happy tekalon keep doing what you're doing. But if you're a little lonely, try saying hello to someone on the bus one day ;-).
And always remember, every single person in your life right now was a stranger at one point.
In my experience it's much easier to strike up a conversation with a random person in a college town, regardless of what they're doing at the time, than outside of one. I'm not entirely sure why, but it's a very distinct pattern I've observed in multiple places in the US.
Oh good point. There is something sort of acceptable about seeing some one reading and interrupting in a nice way to inquire about the book. Is it acceptable to see some one on their smart phone and inquiring about what they are looking at?
Hmm, you know I suppose it probably is totally acceptable to do that. What weirds me out is the fact that so many things on smart phones are totally personal including texts, e-mails, accounts for things like facebook. Also the inclusion of headphones into the mix makes everything a lot more difficult.
Which also says something in a way... if the brain can only really do one task at a time[1], and in every down time moment people (and these are the down time moments, after classes or work, or whatever else they were engaged in) they're both listening to music and juggling between a bunch of different apps on their phone... just curious about the implications to the psyche.
When I started college in 1999 I remember talking to cute girls at a party when we were both there to socialize, not on the bus interrupting her book to find out what she was reading.
Yes. I remember talking to people at parties as well when we were both there to socialize.
Maybe you have trouble meeting people when you're not formally introduced is the issue.
I didn't really tend to ask people what they were reading unless they had clearly stopped reading. I guess that was a bad aspect of that post. But when people have headphones on they never take them off at all. People do put books down occasionally and stop reading however.
"3-4 times to get someone's attention for every person, or did it happen once? Could have easily happened if they were reading their Arthur C. Clarke novels as well."
I've seen many signs in restaurants asking patrons not to use the phone while they are waiting. So, I'm guessing it's often enough to be a problem.
I seriously doubt that. Most times I see that it refers to using your phone as a phone so as not to disturb other people. I would guess it doesn't prohibit people from reading or web surfing.
3-4 times to get someone's attention for every person, or did it happen once? Could have easily happened if they were reading their Arthur C. Clarke novels as well.