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OK, I'm having a lot of fun reading this.

One little nitpick:

> What systems programming functionality does Javascript lack?

Here's a starting point: a secure random number generator.

Chrome has actually implemented one (http://blog.chromium.org/2011/06/new-chromium-security-featu...). It's a part of WebKit (http://lists.whatwg.org/htdig.cgi/whatwg-whatwg.org/2011-Feb...).

Firefox has an unimplemented (as of Firefox 6) secure RNG API (https://developer.mozilla.org/en/JavaScript_crypto, https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=440046).



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